19 replies to this topic

[eleothegreat]

This thread is for anything about parenting and kids. So post away!

[eleothegreat]

Who are parents here, or who knows people with kids? Do the kids have compulsory English classes or do they attend separate ESL lessons?

[prigas]

eleothegreat, on 22 September 2009 - 03:21 AM, said:

Who are parents here, or who knows people with kids? Do the kids have compulsory English classes or do they attend separate ESL lessons?

It depends which school your children attend - be it an international school or a Thai local school. All my friends send their kids to an International School on Sukhumvit soi 71. The primary language of instruction is English.

[Wino]

Do Thai parents spank their kids? I read an article about how the 1979 Swedish law has been sucessful in it's non-violent approach. I can't find that article but here is another on by By Adrienne A. Haeuser, which is interesting.
She writes, "Can you bring up children successfully without smacking and spanking? Sweden appears to be doing just this only a decade after passing a law which stipulates that a child may not be subjected to physical punishment or other humiliating treatment. Initially somewhat skeptical, Swedes now take the law for granted and Swedish children are thriving." Full story at, http://www.neverhita...rg/haeuser.html

[eleothegreat]

Wino, on 07 October 2009 - 09:17 AM, said:

Do Thai parents spank their kids? I read an article about how the 1979 Swedish law has been sucessful in it's non-violent approach. I can't find that article but here is another on by By Adrienne A. Haeuser, which is interesting.
She writes, "Can you bring up children successfully without smacking and spanking? Sweden appears to be doing just this only a decade after passing a law which stipulates that a child may not be subjected to physical punishment or other humiliating treatment. Initially somewhat skeptical, Swedes now take the law for granted and Swedish children are thriving." Full story at, http://www.neverhita...rg/haeuser.html

I think hitting/spanking children for discipline is a common practice in plenty of Asian countries. As children, my brother and I were usually spanked by my mother because of our incessant fighting. My mother would give us time out first by making us face the wall - but then if things got really bad, she'd get a plastic clothes hanger, or a broom handle or a belt and gave us a good spanking. At least we were never punched or hit on the head or hit on any parts of our bodies except our butts. My father was the balancing factor because he never hit us at all and would just speak to us when we did something wrong. My mom was the iron hand. And we all turned out well - I think we've grown up to be very respectful and responsible adults.

Lucky for us that was all we got. Some children here get more - are made to sit on the air for twenty minutes, made to do push ups (I had a high school teacher who made us do such! he was an ass and finally got kicked out of school!). I've heard stories of kids made to kneel on salt or monggo beans, or worse, put inside rice or flour sacks and the sacks were hanged on trees (terrible!).

I also taught English to Korean exchange students here in the Philippines. Their corporal punishment is worse. Kids who got test scores of 80% and below where caned, made to do push ups, their hands were smacked and all. And to think these were eight to twelve year old little kids.

When I was around 12 years old, an aunt of mine who lived all her life in Canada visited the Philippines with her 3 year old daughter. She gave the kid time outs whenever the kid threw tantrums - and they seemed to work. The kid would apoligize and my aunt would explain why what the little girl did was bad and all.

So, fast forward to the future:

I have a 12 month old daughter now. As she grows older each day she develops her own personality, which can be quite annoying sometimes because she learns to resist things. SOmetimes because of frustration I really want to spank her - but I'm working against those urges because she's little and she wouldn't understand anything at all.

At the same time, as she grows up, I wouldn't want spanking to be part of my discipline process. I hope to be able to instill the values of respect and obedience in her without resorting to hitting. GOOD LUCK TO ME!!!!!

[Wino]

eleothegreat, on 09 October 2009 - 09:55 AM, said:

I wouldn't want spanking to be part of my discipline process. I hope to be able to instill the values of respect and obedience in her without resorting to hitting. GOOD LUCK TO ME!!!!!

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. I bet your daughter will become a fine, upstanding young lady. When Sweden enacted their non-spanking law, people thought it would create a generation of spoiled brats. It did not. Youth crime has dropped. Sweden spurred a sort of nonviolent culture across the country and maybe the world. Time outs and explanations seem to work. On the flip side, when Dad slapped me across the face, it really did get my attention.

[lvdkeyes]

It's been said that "spare the rod; spoil the child". I don't subscribe to the concept. Time outs, taking away privileges for bad behavior and praising good behavior seem much more reasonable to me.

[eleothegreat]

Wino, on 09 October 2009 - 11:49 AM, said:

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. I bet your daughter will become a fine, upstanding young lady. When Sweden enacted their non-spanking law, people thought it would create a generation of spoiled brats. It did not. Youth crime has dropped. Sweden spurred a sort of nonviolent culture across the country and maybe the world. Time outs and explanations seem to work. On the flip side, when Dad slapped me across the face, it really did get my attention.

Thanks. And I sure hope I don't lose that good head at some point. I studied psyhcology and one major subject was on developmental and child psychology. Of course that would be stupid of me not to apply what I have learned when it comes to discipline (err..conditioning..hahaha)
But still - I have a long way to go. So again, wish me luck. LOL.

[eleothegreat]

Oh, speaking of hitting children, I read this story about a child (17 months at that time) abused to death in the UK. It was horrific. I wasn't able to sleep well for days. (I hate the internet sometimes because I get to read all the horrific and bad news!!! And of course, because news is always so intiguing, I can't seem to click away from them! Grr.)

Just can't believe how nutcases like those people could exist.

Not for the faint of heart: http://www.timesonli...icle5140511.ece

[Wino]

lvdkeyes, on 09 October 2009 - 02:08 PM, said:

It's been said that "spare the rod; spoil the child". I don't subscribe to the concept. Time outs, taking away privileges for bad behavior and praising good behavior seem much more reasonable to me.

That sounds more reasonable to me, as well. I can see how parents sometimes are frustrated and want to whack some sense into the kid. As eleothegreat stated, "sometimes because of frustration I really want to spank her." Violence begets more violence and sends a message to kids that hitting is okay. Although my memory isn't the best, I don't recall ever seeing a Thai parent whack their kid. Have you?

[lvdkeyes]

My sister has two boys (both grown no and when they were young I remember her saying one time, "I can really understand child abuse". She said often she would just have to walk out of the room to keep from smacking them. They are both great young men now.

[eleothegreat]

What about you, as kids, what's the worst thing ever done to you? Have you ever attended school that did corporal punishment?

[lvdkeyes]

The nun who was my teacher in the 6th grade was like a wild barbarian when she started to beat on kids. More than once, when she was beating me in the hallway, she would slam me against the wall which had hooks for our coats, jamming them into my back.

[Wino]

eleothegreat, on 11 October 2009 - 09:40 PM, said:

What about you, as kids, what's the worst thing ever done to you? Have you ever attended school that did corporal punishment?

In ninth grade, I had a study hall with a teacher that had a large class ring. If you talked instead of studying, he would turn his ring, palm-side down and smack you upside the head. It hurt like hell and made for a quiet study hall.

[finebyme]

I had my experience of spanking from my parents especially from my father. There were good reasons for it and hate to tell how I deserved the heavy whipping of wood that caused red burning marks on my arm. Bad behavior do precede spanking, although it can't apply now that I am bigger and older. But that doesn't mean to say I am still into bad behavior. I am meek as an angel.

[Wino]

I do not condone spanking. Time outs, I think can be an effective disciplinary tool and better for both parent and child. That said, I don't know how I made it through childhood without helmets, car seats and to top it all off......being spanked for misbehaving.

[lvdkeyes]

Taking away privileges works well too.

[Wino]

lvdkeyes, on 19 October 2009 - 03:37 PM, said:

Taking away privileges works well too.

I remember being grounded for what seemed forever. And I was not able to drive for a whole year.

[lvdkeyes]

I am sure you never repeated the offense that cause the loss of your driving privileges.

[Wino]

lvdkeyes, on 20 October 2009 - 01:37 AM, said:

I am sure you never repeated the offense that cause the loss of your driving privileges.

Yes, the grades did improve.